


I don't even remember being hurt (baby when I look in your eyes)

by misun (crimsun)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Diners, Ambiguity, Diners, Double Dating, Exes, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Post-Break Up, Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Waiters & Waitresses, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24123325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsun/pseuds/misun
Summary: The moment his eyes first landed on Jeno – barely thirteen, messy hair and even messier uniform, walking down the school's hallway while clutching his backpack straps like a lifeline – Jaemin's entire world tilted on its axis. For a moment, it felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs and the earth pulled out from under his feet. When everything went back to normal, the sudden rush of dopamine left Jaemin dizzy and disoriented. It wasn't the first time he barely had time to stop himself before he crashed into the lockers.Over seven years and one break-up later, Jaemin wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that Jeno still had the same effect on him.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	I don't even remember being hurt (baby when I look in your eyes)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vervains](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vervains/gifts).



> happy birthday, v!! thank you for always being by my side, you're honestly the best friend I could ever ask for ♥️ I know I annoy you all the time but I only do it because I love you 
> 
> this is actually not the fic I wanted to gift you originally, but the other one got a little out of hand oops so it'll have to wait, but I hope you enjoy this one anyway!! I tried ok
> 
> title is from love again by nct dream !!

The moment his eyes first landed on Jeno – barely thirteen, messy hair and even messier uniform, walking down the school's hallway while clutching his backpack straps like a lifeline – Jaemin's entire world tilted on its axis. For a moment, it felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs and the earth pulled out from under his feet. When everything went back to normal, the sudden rush of dopamine left Jaemin dizzy and disoriented. It wasn't the first time he barely had time to stop himself before he crashed into the lockers. 

Over seven years and one break-up later, Jaemin wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that Jeno still had the same effect on him.

The same terrible and exhilarating feeling took over his body the moment he looked up from his notepad only to find Jeno opening the door to the tiny, small-town style diner Jaemin worked at. He looked exactly the same as the last time they had seen each other, so stunning Jaemin still couldn't quite wrap his head around it, and even more now that he seemed to grow more into his features. Jeno flashed Ryujin that devastatingly dashing smile as she walked him over to a table before Jaemin could even register what he was doing, his hands were already grabbing a menu, feet guiding him directly over to Jeno's table. At least there weren’t any lockers to avoid crashing into this time.

"Hi, welcome to Johnny's Kitchen," Jaemin started, and he wasn't surprised to find that the exaggerated smile he sometimes struggled to put on settled on his lips easily. Everything with Jeno had always come naturally. "My name –"

“Jaemin,” Jeno breathed out, looking just as shocked as Jaemin felt when he had seen him at the door. His eyes were so bright Jaemin struggled to look into them. 

“Yeah.” It came out almost like a whisper. When Jaemin broke eye contact he told himself it was so he wouldn't misplace the menu on the table. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, like…” Jeno trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. Jaemin trained his eyes on his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. “Almost a year? I didn't know you were back already.” 

Jaemin nodded. "Yeah, it's been a few months actually. You haven't changed at all." 

A smile split Jeno's cheeks, all traces of shock leaving his features, but Jaemin could tell he was being careful. "Neither have you. Well, except for the hair. The blue suits you."

Jaemin couldn't help the small, harsh laugh that escaped him. Under any other circumstances, Jaemin would've basked in the compliment, probably flirted his way into getting a pretty blush and a phone number, but this was Jeno and he had to keep reminding himself _you're not allowed more than this, not anymore_.

"Thanks," Jaemin replied instead. Before he had another chance to embarrass himself, he changed the topic. "Is it only you tonight?"

"No." Jeno's smile seemed almost sheepish. "I'm waiting for a few people, actually. Double date." 

The fact that Jaemin expected it didn't mean it hurt any less. At least he had an opening to escape now. "Is there anything I can get you in the meantime?" 

Jeno shook his head. "I'll just wait for them."

"Great, I'll come back in a while then." 

Suddenly aware of the weird tension that hung between them, Jaemin turned around and headed for the counter without waiting for Jeno to answer.

"What the fuck was that?" Donghyuck hissed as soon as Jaemin joined him behind the counter. "That table was in my section!"

"I'll give you their tip," Jaemin replied immediately, eyes distant as his mind sounded _LEE JENO_ over and over like police sirens. His presence still filled every single one of his senses, making it difficult for Jaemin to ground himself completely.

"You okay?" Donghyuck asked after a moment, waving his hands in front of Jaemin's face. 

"That was Jeno," Jaemin blurted. "Like, _my ex_ Lee Jeno. He's here for a double date." 

"Oh... shit." Instantly, Donghyuck's face softened. He wrapped an arm around Jaemin. "Do you want me to take his table?"

"No," Jaemin said immediately, surprising even himself. He turned around so he was fully in Donghyuck's arms, burying his face in his neck. "I'm already serving their table, it would be weird. I'll still give you the tip." 

Donghyuck clicked his tongue. "Fuck the tip. Are you sure you still want to serve his table?"

"I am," he replied. Donghyuck hooked his head over his shoulder. "I am, just… Fuck. I'm still so in love with him, Hyuckie." 

"I know. But…" The hand that has been rubbing his back stilled. "I think your problem might be solved." 

"What?" Jaemin asked, detaching himself from Donghyuck's embrace. He pointed at the door. 

"Jeno's leaving," Donghyuck said simply. Sure enough, Jeno was making his way to the door, eyes trained on his phone. His mouth was twisted in annoyance. 

For the second time that day, Jaemin was moving before he could even register it. Donghyuck calling his name felt distant as he walked around the counter, straight towards Jeno. As soon as he was close enough, Jaemin reached out, placing a hand on Jeno's shoulder. Startled, Jeno turned around, but shock was soon replaced with a hesitant smile as soon as he saw Jaemin. He seemed troubled.

Before Jeno could even open his mouth, Jaemin was already rambling. "Was there something wrong with your service? I could get you another table, if you want. Or even another server –"

"Jaemin." Jeno put one hand on each of Jaemin's shoulders, making Jaemin's own hand fall limply at his side. "It's fine, I… My date just cancelled. My friends are still coming, though."

"Oh," said Jaemin intelligently. And, because he doesn't think, "I can be your date."

_What happened to no more than this, Jaemin? What happened to ‘let's keep our distance’?_

Jeno made a noise of confusion in the back of his throat. His hands dropped from Jaemin's shoulders. 

"I mean," Jaemin rushed to cover his own stupidity, "so it won't be awkward with the other couple. You already came all the way here, it would be a shame if you left without eating anything. We make really good pies." 

Jeno tilted his head. "What about your shift?"

"It's okay, I'll get the other waiter to cover for me. Donghyuck owes me a favor, anyway." Donghyuck, in fact, did not owe him anything but Jaemin sure as fuck would after the stunt he was about to pull. At least it wasn't a busy night, only three or four tables were actually occupied. 

"Yeah, why not? We can catch up, right?" Jeno agreed, a lot more easily than Jaemin thought he would. His eyes seemed brighter, too, but Jaemin convinced himself it was just a trick of the light. 

"Wait for me at your table, I'll change and be right back."

When Jaemin made it back behind the counter, Donghyuck was already glaring at him. "What did you do?"

Instead of answering his question, Jaemin said, "I need you to do me the biggest favor ever, please. I'll cover as many of your shifts as you want me to."

Donghyuck's gaze didn't falter. "Na Jaemin."

"His date stood him up so I told him I would cover for them so it wouldn't be awkward with the other couple. And to catch up."

Slowly, Donghyuck closed his eyes in irritation. "You're the dumbest gay I've ever met, seriously. You owe me bobba apart from the shifts."

Jaemin threw his arms around Donghyuck. "God, thank you. You're the best."

"I know," Donghyuck replied levelly. "There's a nice sweater in Doyoung's locker, go get changed."

Jaemin turned around immediately, but before he could go, Donghyuck grabbed onto his arm. "Just don't get hurt, okay?"

"Donghyuck," Jaemin started, but sighed at the look he was given in return. Donghyuck was serious. "I won't. I just… I need to see him again, you know?"

"Yeah," was all that Donghyuck said, but it was solemn. He pulled on a strand of Jaemin's fringe. "Go."

By the time Jaemin finished changing, Jeno's friend's were already there, talking enthusiastically. Jaemin could see them holding hands under the table. Before Jaemin could truly regret what he was about to do, Jeno was already smiling up at him, scooting over in the booth to make space for him. "Jaemin!" he exclaimed. "These are my friends, Mark and Renjun."

Jaemin greeted them quickly before taking a seat, and not long after Donghyuck was standing in front of them, taking their orders while subtly glaring at both of them.

Conversation flowed easily between the four of them. Mark and Renjun were both funny and nice and it made Jaemin feel like he had known them his entire life. It was Jeno he was having trouble adjusting to.

Talking and joking around with Jeno felt so familiar, yet Jaemin had never felt so out of place. They laughed like they always did, shared stories like they had never stopped making memories together, except Jaemin had to stop himself from reaching over to take Jeno's hand in his once he caught his breath and force himself to look away whenever Jeno smiled so wide his eyes turned into crescents. By the time they ordered desert Jaemin's chest ached with the same _longing_ he felt every night before going to bed, thinking about how things could've gone differently if he hadn’t been so dumb in the first place. 

The beginnings of regret weighed Jaemin down as they bid Mark and Renjun goodbye, with promises of having another double date that Jaemin wasn't entirely sure would come true. Before he could excuse himself to go back inside, Jeno was pulling him outside too, in the opposite direction of the parking lot and towards the side of the building. 

For a moment, they just stared at each other, appreciating the way the eerie lighting made shadows dance across their faces. Jaemin thought it made Jeno's lips look even more kissable. 

Before Jaemin's thoughts could spiral, Jeno spoke up. "I never wanted to break up, you know?"

"Neither did I," Jaemin replied immediately. "I just –"

"You thought it was for the best. You were going away for a long time, I know" Jeno smiled, looking at the space just above Jaemin's head. "My date wasn’t cancelled."

"I know," Jaemin said. For the second time that night, Jeno made a cute noise in the back of his throat, confusion evident in his features. This time, Jaemin allowed himself to smile. “Your face when you told me said everything. I still know how to read you, Jeno.” 

Jeno looked at him for a long moment before speaking. "Not talking to you was hard."

"It's one of the hardest things I've ever done," Jaemin agreed. _You're the one who knows me best, Lee Jeno._

"We should do this again, sometime. Just the two of us." Jeno extended his hand towards Jaemin, silently asking for his phone. 

Jaemin held his hand instead, interlacing their fingers. "I still have your number saved."

This made Jeno laugh – a full body laugh that had him doubling over with its intensity – but his hand stayed firmly pressed against Jaemin’s. For the first time in a very, very long time, a little seed of hope planted itself in his chest.

However, the relief he felt didn't last long as the reality of the situation waiting for him inside the diner slowly creeped up on him. "I should head back inside now. Help clean and close before Donghyuck kills me."

"Sure," Jeno smiled. It was the most genuine one of the night. "I'll be waiting for your call, then." 

Jaemin smiles back. He brought their still intertwined hands up to his lips, planting a small kiss in the palm of Jeno's hand before letting go. "You won’t be waiting long.”

“I don’t doubt it. Bye, Jaemin.”

“Goodbye, Jeno.”

It reminded Jaemin of old times, tears spilled under the sheets as they held each other close for what was supposed to be the last time. Except this time it didn’t feel permanent. _It was never really supposed to be._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! here I leave my [twitter](http://twitter.com/chneji) and my [cc](http://curiouscat.me/honeytips)!


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